I know it's been a while between posts. A lot of heavy stuff has been going on and I just haven't felt like writing about it. I guess blogging isn't my default vent outlet anymore, more of a debriefing tool after the fact.
In short, our adoption assessor completed her report and has not recommended us for approval to adopt. W met all the competences except one- financial capability. Essentially it boiled down to the fact that although I could take 12 months off work to look after four adopted child, we would be expecting that I would be bale to return to work on a part-time basis (3 days per week) to contribute to the household income. The assessor in her report stated that we didn't have the capacity for me to be an ongoing stay at home Mum- and having an adopted child means that there is a higher likelihood of the child having additional needs (eg speech therapy) and we don't have the ability for to stay at home at home permanently, as well as potentially additional costs of private medical attention (if high levels of physio/speech therapy etc are required).
So, because we are not 'rich' enough for me to stay at home permanently (until my kid is in school, and then I assume work only school hours), we are not suitable for adoption.
To say that we were blindsided is an understatement. We just did not see it coming. I know the assessor found writing the report difficult but it's even more difficult to be on the end of it, and knowing what the implications of this are. It feels like another loss all over again.
Now we have until July 25 to let the adoption agency know any factual corrections to the report, as well as provide our own appendix with our own views and statements we wish the panel to consider. Then in August, the report goes to the Adoption Application Panel who basically read it all and make a decision. There is the slightest chance that they could still approve us, however we were advised when we started this process that if we don't have our assessors tick of approval, then it is highly unlikely we will be approved by the committee.
Right now we are trying not to think about it too much. We are on holiday in Sydney at the moment, having spent the last week in Melbourne. It was perfect timing to help us take our minds off of things. I don't know how I would have gotten through the last week if I had to face this everyday. I've been able to forget and just let it be for a while. We will deal with it when we have to, when we get back home this weekend.
In the meantime, we are going to enjoy our holiday. For rugby league fans, we are going to see State of Origin III this Wednesday night which is on Murray's bucket list. I ticked a bucket list item off on this holiday as well as I got to experience snow for the first time in Mount Buller!