Wednesday, 24 June 2009


Once upon a time there was a girl name B who married a man called M. They were living their happily ever after story until one day they decided to add a baby to the picture to add to their happiness. They tried and tried, but the baby would not appear. So they asked for help, from the doctors and from God, yet there was still no baby. One day through a combination of God and doctors, a miracle happened and baby V started growing in B's tummy. But all too soon the baby had to go to heaven. B & M were very sad about this. Slowly though, they began to see little rays of sunshine and happiness, and learnt that their love for each other was all conquering.

Yesterday B learnt that her an accusation against her dad means he has to be judged, and may go to jail. B's heart is hurting again. B remembers the light but doesn't know how to get back from the darkness.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Does it get any better?

My heart is aching. I should be 11 weeks pregnant and looking forward to my 12 week scan. but I'm not. And it hurts so badly.

Adding insult to injury, I spoke to the clinic nurse yesterday who offhand had remembered seeing Murray's SCSA results in the lab. Apparently the DNA damage or DNA Fragmentation Index is at 35%. Basically normal is less than 15% but 15-30% is okay. Over 30% is crap. Apparently

Our Doctors appointment is on the 30th, so I have started Murray on Menevit to start with, and we are both back on the weightloss, healthy lifestyle thing. We have started tentatively talking about the option of donor sperm. Honestly, it scares the pants of me. I don't know how I feel about it, but I am scared.

Monday, 1 June 2009

Adding to the pain

My brothers girlfriend had her baby this morning. A little girl named Lilly.