To be honest there really isn't much to talk about at the moment. Our Christmas tree is up, presents are all wrapped underneath - for 2 people, we sure buy a lot of presents for people!
Am looking forward to Christmas, although every month that progresses, I have this awful knowing feeling that my sister-in-law will make an announcement. They have been married for just over a year and have wanted to start for a while but I think they were waiting for us to fall pregnant first. I think they have given up on that idea and have started trying. Considering they have been pregnant before (6 weeks after they got together- miscarriage at 11 weeks), we are pretty sure it wont take them long to fall. I just pray that they don't announce it at a public gathering because I will leave. I am trying to mentally prepare for it in advance, but in the end it is still going to hurt.
I know it is awful, but I don't want them to get pregnant before us. No I dont wish them infertility, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but I just want us to have our baby. I know it's not a competition, and our children will be loved equally etc etc but this was something special for us. I don't know, I know I can't justify my feelings and that I shouldn't try, I realise it is irrational, but we have been on this path for nearly four years. God damn it - I want to have the first grandchild and great-grandchild in the family - at least give me that!
I've been going to church each week for around a year now, and I am going to join in with singing Christmas Carols as part of the music team on stage on Christmas Eve. I'm not a great (or good) singer -just average, but it something I love so much and wanted to be a part of.
First week of work went well - a slight hiccup about my boss - he had a go at me over something when I did nothing wrong AT ALL, just him being hypersensitive about me setting meetings up with him - something about "He's the boss and will tell me when he wants to speak with him" - very strange! Other than that he seems okay, the group is very different to how I had imagined, but that's what you get when you leave head office I guess!
Anyway, I am off to see my beloved Perth Wildcats play tonight - fingers crossed we get the win. On top of the ladder at the moment! Go Cats!