Friday, 18 July 2014
Dr Thonpson was happy with my weight loss and thinks that we have nothing to lose by pursuing donor IUI, however he thinks we are good candidates for pursuing donor embryos. We will need to do our donor counselling again as we last did it around four years ago and they like to renew it every two years. We are booked in to do it on Wednesday afternoon just to get it out of the way.
After that is done, then we can look at see if what donor embryos are available. Last time we pursued this, it took a while for them to become available and they weren't the best quality, however the donor coordinator suggested that it is quite different this time as they have cleared a lot of people from the wait list, and many people have returned the forms to donate their embryos which is promising.
We have said for a while that we don't have a preference of how we build our family, and although we have heavily invested in adoption, we particularly have a heart for embryo adoption/donation and would like to pursue that option.
Obviously we have also committed to our Europe holiday so funds aren't flowing freely, but thanks to a promotion Murray had received, we are in a position that we can do one embryo transfer as well as our holiday, so we are going to consider doing it if the right situation and embryos present itself.
We are throwing ourselves back into the race!!
Wednesday, 16 July 2014
Part of us is hoping that, having bought the flights, we have jinxed ourselves and we will be placed for adoption and not be able to go on the holiday. We would lose the money on the flights (non-refundable tickets), yet it would be worth every cent. So who knows – let’s make God laugh by telling him our plans!
Sunday, 6 July 2014
As a joint birthday and graduation present, we bought a Thermomix! I have been wanting one for about a year after going to a demo and seeing how awesome they are, and know I finally have my own! For those out of the loop, it's basically an amazing kitchen machine, it combines the functions of half a dozen kitchen appliances and can blend, mix, mill spices, cook, stir, pulverise, grind- basically whatever you need it to do!
So far I have used it to make pasta, sauces, rice, brownies, cakes, cinnamon scrolls and dip! I'm hoping to document my thermomix adventures on the blog as I go along. I bought a few specific recipe books, but I'm also having fun just playing around to see what works. I've never had a food processor before so that part of it is very much a novelty, and being ale to mill my own floor and spices is great, as is being able to cook food in it without having to watch it or stir.
It is ridiculously expensive and like I said, I am very spoilt, but it is replacing a broken blender and mixmaster so I don't feel terribly guilty. And it is a reward for finishing uni!
Speaking of which, once I get my exam results back in two weeks, I will finally get my graduation date!!! I have been studying part-time at night for the last six years while I worked full time to do my degree in Business Administration, focusing on management, and I completed my final two units this semester. I am so proud to actually have done it, being the first person in my family to get a degree! While it won't change my job situation that much right now, it definitely helps me in the future if I decide to pursue a career in management, and it's also a huge source of pride for me to have achieved it.
I am hopefully going to do some postgraduate studies ins field later on but am planning a year off uni study while I do some vocational study in training and assessment through my workplace. The bonus of having worked while studying is that I have also paid off my HECS (student loans) completely as off this tax time which is awesome!
Anyhow, I'm off to play some more with my thermomix! I made the most incredible spiced pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting last night- recipe coming soon!
Tuesday, 1 July 2014
I can't wait for when that phone call finally comes.
Monday, 23 June 2014
"So, have you heard anything".
"How long do you think it will take before you get your baby?"
"I'm praying for you".
Nearly every day someone asks Murray or I how the adoption process is going. It is lovely that so many people care about us and are supportive of what we are doing. At the same time, it can be a little hard to have to say over and over again, that no, we don't know how long it is going to be before we get our child - if we get our child. Yes it's not fair that some people can have children very easily while others can't. Yes we would make good parents. No we don't mind if it is a boy or a girl and no we can't choose.
Sometimes we come home weary and hold each other, tired of the questions and wishing for a simpler life. But I would never give up what we have. Because each question asked is a statement of support for us, and for the child that will eventually be part of our family. While it might be a source of frustration at times, it also is a source of strength and encouragement.
Each day brings us closer. We can stand still and yet still move forward at the same time. I think that is the beauty of this whole process. I don't have to do anything more. Nothing I do now makes a difference - it all comes down to how God wants this situation to work out. Whether a birth parents chooses to parent or relinquish. If they want a home with dogs for their son or daughter to grow up with and love. It's out of our hands.
And while we wait, we thank God for the support and love of our friends and family. Because regardless of the questions, they keep us grounded and faithful in this journey.
Friday, 16 May 2014
I had a great time meeting all of these different people who have been through the same process that I am going through right now. A lot of the children were from the special care needs pool as well which gave me some idea of what might be expected. I got a great insight to some of the challenges that are faced but also the awesomeness of having a child through adoption!
One of the things that came out of it, was some information about the Philippines inter-country adoption program. One of the Mum's 'S' was on the list for both the Philippines and local and her local adoption had a placement first. S said that the Philippines program is usually foster care, and priorities adoptive parents who are Christian as they are a Catholic country. Also they only require the adoptive parents to stay in the country for three weeks, which was of concern for us. It is also close enough by that we would be able to retain links with the child's culture which is great as well. S suggested that I look into it a little bit further, and I'm definitely interested in learning more about it.
Overall the morning was a really great reminder that we are on the right path and that adoption is really in my heart.
Friday, 9 May 2014
Friday, 25 April 2014
I am on babysitting duty tonight for my two beautiful nephews. William is nearly three, and Kevin is four months old. Murray and his sister go to the football together every fortnight and his sisters husband is away at the moment so I got the pleasure of the little guys' company for the evening.
We played with cars, cooked dinner together, watched some football and then had milk and off to bed. Little Kevin has been napping with two bottles drunk around his naps. I swear there is something beautiful about feeding a baby. Kevin was looking in my eyes, drinking his bottle and snuggled up next to me. It's peaceful and so loving. I hope I get to do a lot of that with our child.
We have been focusing all our attention on adoption for the last year or so, but over the past two weeks, I've been thinking about the possibility of seeing my fertility specialist. It's just an idea at this stage, to investigate what donor sperm is currently available at our clinic, and consider the possibility of perhaps doing a cycle of donor insemination.
I sought counsel from some friends, because I feel unfaithful for even considering the idea. I don't want people to think that adoption is my second choice, or a 'backup' because its not. I'm committed to it and I would love to parent a child that we adopted. However does that mean I should just so and wait and not consider fertility treatment any further. At last count there were 46 couples in the approved adoption pool. Even at an above average number of 8 children placed per year, that's potentially a 6 year wait- if we be replaced at all!
We don't have the money to consider IVF unless the public program starts up again, which is likely to be at lest twelve months away. But donor IUI works out to around $700 out of pocket per attempt once we reach the Medicare safety net which is definitely doable. Our previous know donor doesn't have any frozen sperm left which would mean fresh samples, and to be honest, I don't want to have to ask anyone for anything. The idea of using the donated sperm that is already at the clinic appeals to me at the minute, where we just select it, and don't have to think about the logistics of anything.
We have sent an email to the clinic donor coordinator just to see what the donor list is looking like, and from there we will consider our options. There isn't much point pursuing something that isn't available, so once we have all of the information available to us, we can make a decision.
We shall see...
Thursday, 17 April 2014
Over the years we have had lots of luck on our side. Here are just some of the competitions we have won:
- Trip to Sydney to judge the NBL All Star Slam Dunk Competition (Foxtel competition)
- Murray came 4th in an Rugby League tipping competition and won $6000!
- Last year I won movie tickets to our local cinema for a year for tipping all the Oscar winners correctly - 2 free tickets each week for a year!
- Tickets to the Rugby Union game between the Western Force and Waratah's this past weekend (competition at a pub, put your name in the barrel each time you buy a drink)
- VIP Box tickets to the Wildcats game a few weeks back (RAC twitter competition)
- A beautiful framed one-off print by Rebecca Wetzler through a City of Perth / Instagram competition
- Murray is a bit of a tipster with the horses and his local betting agency ran a local comp to tip all of the placegetters at Ascot Racecourse which Murray tipped perfectly twice - around $2000 each time!
- Murray has also been on a couple of radio competitions and won CD's and cash
- I won a couple of crafting competitions which snagged me some pretty fabric and patterns when I first started quilting.
Tuesday, 8 April 2014
|Murray with his parents and sister|
|The back of this amazing dress|
|Absolutely adore the colours on this. It is a Ginger & Smart dress|
|Murray and I together outside the church|
|I had my hair curled for the day and I loved it! Will definitely have to try this at home|
Friday, 4 April 2014
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Today I felt my empty womb screaming at me. I was sitting in church, surrounding by children and new babies, watching a little baby have their dedication. They read a verse from Psalms where it says that the fruit of the womb is a blessing and a reward.
I know I have been blessed. I have so much good in my life. But there is still a part of me that screams out - why am I not worthy of this particular blessing.
It was also the first time that I think I really acknowledged that I will not have a child from my body. There will be no heart beat that co-exists with mine. Although I have dealt with the theoretical side of things, of not having a biological child, I hadn't really brought that to a practical level. No giving birth. No child from my womb. I can deal with it if I KNEW that we would have a child through adoption. But relinquishing the hope of having a biological child for the HOPE of an adopted child, is so much to give up.
I'm okay with it. I've had a lot of time to grieve. But there are moments like today that grab me, and I imagine will always grab me and be a punch straight to the guts.